Met’s Fan Bluetooth Douche

by Brian on July 20, 2009

baseball game bluetooth douche

baseball game bluetooth douche

Mets fan, enough said.

Alright, let’s talk some more shit anyways:

Who’s he talking To?

  • His mom, she forgot to  iron the top right shoulder of his gray t-shirt
  • Capital records, he’s THIS close to getting a deal
  • Talking shit to his buddy who’s a Yankees fan and still less of a douche than this guy because he doesn’t use a handsfree device in public

What’s he doing?

  • Wondering how long he can hold it in, he’s about to pop a squat right there
  • Waiting in line for the new Harry Potter movie
  • NOT TALKING ON THE PHONE DESPITE WEARING A BLUETOOTH EARPIECE!
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angry_doucheThis one has a great story behind it.  Actually found this one on Flickr and there are 4 pages of comments which are well worth reading.

Here’s the story based on the photographer’s experience:

This guy was on the corner of Stockton and Columbus in San Francisco yelling at a homeless man. Anger, conflict, drama — sounds like a great shot to me. I crossed the street but was unable to get anything interesting, since I only had my 50mm lens on the camera and I was just too far away.

However, Mr. Angry Overreaction Man decided that he now had a problem with me. He confronted me, demanding my camera. Of course, I refused. He got in my face and started threatening me, telling me that I cannot take his photo without his permission. I told him that yes, in fact, I can. He then walked up and bumped into me, trying to act tough. I told him that one more touch and I would call the police.

Of course, he didn’t like that very much, and at that point told me that if I put his picture on the internet, he would call his laywer. I assured him that his photo would be on the internet, and he then walked up and grabbed my camera lens. Well, that’s just not something that I will put up with, so I pulled the camera away from him and reached for my phone and started dialing. Once he saw that he turned away, still yelling threats, and continued on his way.

I felt bad for his daughter, who was with him, because she was obviously embarrassed by his antics and kept pleading with him to stop. I have a great shot showing her looking up as if saying “Oh boy, here he goes again”. But I’m not going to post that one, as she was not acting like an idiot and I don’t want to embarrass her. Mr. Angry Overreaction Man seems to do enough of that.

So, Mr. Angry Overreaction Man, your photo is now on the internet. Call your lawyer. Tell him somebody on a public sidewalk took your photo while you were on a public sidewalk. Then tell him you physically assaulted the photographer. See what he says.

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Secret Agent Man

by Brian on July 18, 2009

thinks he's in the secret service

thinks he's in the secret service

I actually saw this guy when Obama came to visit a school in the area.  Looks like he wants to be part of the secret service for three reasons:

  1. Bluetooth – obviously for top secret communications because we all know how secure Bluetooth is, can’t be hacked at all…
  2. Sunglasses – even though it’s overcast, he doesn’t want you to know where he’s looking.  Is he looking directly into the camera or does he spot a bogey on the grassy knoll to the left???
  3. No smile – all this “guarding the president shit” is damn serious soldier!

I wasn’t going to say anything about the goatee but a recent infomercial changed my mind…he must use the Goatee Saver, just too bad he can’t get the top to connect with the bottom!

Best of luck with the secret service guy!

-James

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