10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don’t

by Brian on July 30, 2009

According to HolyTaco.com, the bluetooth douchebag is only number 8 on the list…I think it should be higher.

Here’s the excerpt:

8. Blue Tooth Headset

bluetooth-headset.jpg

WHY YOU THINK YOU’RE COOL: All the other losers have to use their hands when they talk on the phone. Not you! You can talk on your phone and at the same time safely give some loser the finger because they’re only driving the speed limit. It’s Tuesday, doesn’t this asshole know you have your jujitsu class at 24 hour fitness to go to?

WHY YOU’RE NOT COOL: I don’t give a shit if you’re talking to someone on the other end, when you’re in a Subway Sandwiches and they’re trying to take your order while you say “Listen, you give me that paperwork for the Johnson account by tomorrow or it’s your ass. No mayo. I said no Mayo! Yeah, that’s right, Johnson account on my desk! No pepperoncinis!” it’s pretty god damn confusing and asshole-ish to everyone trying to deal with you. Answer your phone when you have time to hold it in your hand. The only people that should be wearing blue tooth wireless headsets are military field generals and the people that work the day after thanksgiving sale at Old Navy.

  • Tim

    “…military field generals and the people that work the day after thanksgiving sale at Old Navy.” – Classic!

Previous post:

Next post: